The Trouble with Being Wicked by Emma Locke

Narrated by Marian Hussey

I decided to review The Trouble with Being Wicked solely on the strength of narrator Marian Hussey whose work has impressed me in the past. I was also quite intrigued by the book synopsis, which tells of a romance between an ex-courtesan and an uptight, very proper young viscount who is so desperate to put his tragic family history behind him that he has become a complete killjoy and is gradually suffocating his sisters with his over-protectiveness.

Celeste Gray is the most sought after courtesan in London but, at thirty-three, is tired of that life and wants to leave it behind. Having amassed herself a considerable fortune over the past eighteen years, she purchases a cottage in a small village called Brixcombe-on-the-Bay in Devon and travels there with her very pregnant friend, Elizabeth, with a view to making her home there. The cottage’s former owner, Ashlin Lancester, Viscount Trestin, comes over to see how the ladies are settling in and immediately senses that not all is as it seems. I have no idea how, but he determines that Elizabeth is not a respectable married lady and is extremely disgruntled because of the lustful thoughts Celeste inspires. Because of course it’s her fault for being so shaggable, and nothing to do with Ash at all.

The sinful imaginings are not one-sided however, and Ash and Celeste very quickly fall into lust with each other – which is certainly not surprising on Ash’s part given he has been celibate for the past seven years in the attempt to prove that he’s nothing like his late father, a man who lifted more skirts than he had hot dinners. Ash is a stickler for propriety because the tragedy surrounding his parents – his mother shot his father and then turned the gun on herself – caused a massive scandal which dragged the family name through the mud and badly affected his sisters’ marriage prospects. The three of them – Ash, Lucy and Delilah – have lived a secluded life in the country for years, and his sisters are restless and reckless. Lucy insists she isn’t going to get married and wants to open a girls’ school while Delilah is in love with the local blacksmith.

Ash has no idea of Celeste’s true identity or profession, and of course when he does find out he’s livid, says nasty things to her and storms off. Hurt, but doing her best not to show it, Celeste goes back to London, shortly followed by Ash who tries to throw himself into an endless round of debauchery, but can’t quite manage it – he only wants Celeste. (I had to ask myself at this point how a bloke who hasn’t had any nookie in seven years and who was intent on getting some could have had trouble in the trouser department simply because “she wasn’t the right woman.”) Eventually, he seeks Celeste out and asks her to become his mistress, and even though she has misgivings (because she loves him but he can’t possibly love her) –she agrees.

I had a number of problems with this audiobook, all of which were to do with the story. For one thing, it is very slow to start, and I will be completely honest and own up to the fact that I was bored. Nothing much happens for around the first third of the book, and while I often say I like stories in which the romance is the story and there is no extraneous action or mystery, there has to be something else to hold my interest, and here there just wasn’t. The central characters aren’t particularly likeable or interesting and there’s no chemistry between them so their encounters are dull. And I could quite happily have locked Ash’s sisters in the cellar and thrown away the key. At some point during this first part of the book, Celeste and Ash admit (to themselves, not each other) that they’ve fallen for one another, and I did a metaphorical double-take, because I’d heard nothing up to that point to suggest it. In fact, there’s nothing in the entire book which suggests a couple falling in love or who share a strong emotional connection.

Adding to those issues is the fact that on a number of occasions, the author stretched my credulity so far that it broke. I could cite numerous examples, but I’ll content myself with two. One is when Elizabeth goes into labour and she is attended by a physician. I couldn’t understand why two ex-courtesans who must, of necessity, be familiar with the mechanics of reproduction, wouldn’t have known that back then, babies were almost always delivered by midwives and not physicians. And then why, when the labour accelerates, they don’t send for the bloody midwife. Well, actually I did understand it. It’s just a plot device to get Ash involved.

Another plot thread sees Lucy asking Celeste to help her to seduce the man she’s fancied for years (who happens to be Ash’s best friend) so that she can have a taste of passion before she sets up as a respectable headmistress. Um – no. A woman in that situation would have to be of spotless reputation; the faintest whiff of scandal (like having had sex outside of marriage) and the whole enterprise would have been doomed. Even though Lucy is sure nobody will ever find out, it’s completely ridiculous and I wasn’t buying. Worse, though, is that, even though Celeste knows it’s a bad idea and how furious Ash would be if he found out – she agrees! *headdesk*

I was about to give a D- grade for content when, in the last hour or so came the best scenes in the entire book, which are between Ash and Delilah’s new husband, and those bumped it up a bit.

Marian Hussey is a highly accomplished narrator who I’ve enjoyed listening to in the past and have rated highly, but even she couldn’t save this audiobook from being less than mediocre. Her pacing, whether when reading dialogue or narrative, is excellent and she differentiates extremely well, voicing every character according to gender, age and station. Her male characters always sound masculine and she even manages to make the stuffy, wooden Ash sound attractive, so kudos to her for that. She adds a husky note to Celeste’s voice which works well and also makes it easy to distinguish between her and the other female characters. Lucy and Delilah are easy to tell apart from each other in their scenes together, and Ms Hussey’s portrayal of Elizabeth strongly conveys the character’s selfishness and the fact that she really has no idea what she is facing in the near future in terms of childbirth and having a child out of wedlock.

As is obvious, I can’t recommend The Trouble with Being Wicked in spite of an excellent performance from Marian Hussey, who really deserves better material. The pacing of the story is uneven, the characters are barely two-dimensional, there is little romantic spark between the principals and the book is littered with so many historical inaccuracies and implausibilities that, had I not received a review copy, I would have stopped listening and returned it. Emma Locke isn’t a terrible writer by any means, but if you like the even the tiniest nod to historical accuracy in your historical romances, then this isn’t the book for you.

Caz

Narration: B+

Book Content: D

Steam Factor: Glad I had my earbuds in

Violence Rating: None

Genre: Historical Romance

Publisher: Emma Locke

The Trouble with Being Wicked was provided to AudioGals by Emma Locke for a review.

Historical Romance Audiobook Review