You may think that your pastime of listening to Romance audiobooks is without any danger. It’s just you enjoying a favorite author and/or narrator bring the joy of romance and love to life, on your book-playing device of choice. Until one day…
Gather round friends while I tell you the story of how I nearly sexted my boss yesterday on the way to work.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
So. I’m driving to work and I get a text from my boss. She’s doing a coffee run for our weekly staff meeting and would like my order.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
I’m in the car so I can’t look at my phone or use my phone. (My phone is connected to the car via Bluetooth and reads the text out to me.)
I can do “quick reply” from my dash but none of those options are about coffee so that’s not going to work. I can’t get out my phone because driving.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
But wait. I have a Galaxy watch which is also connected to my phone via Bluetooth. I can’t use my phone but I *can* use my watch when I’m at lights waiting for the green. (Safety matters folks.)
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
There’s a handy dandy function where I can dictate a text message to my watch and press “send” and it sends my voice message as a text.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
So I dictate my coffee order, which is complicated – half strength, skinny, sweetener, yada yada.
I add please to the end because manners and also this is my boss and she’s buying me a coffee and putting up with my complicated order.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Only my watch doesn’t understand “please” and the text says “place”. All the other words? A+
I don’t know how to corect the last word in the voice to text message and I’m driving so I can learn it on the go. So I press send when I’m at the next set of lights.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
But it nags because it is wrong, it doesn’t make sense and it’s my boss.
So I decide to send another voice to text message to clarify and here, friends, is where everything started to go horribly wrong.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
I dictate “sorry that was supposed to be please” but my diction is obviously a bit unclear and my watch gets confused and what appears in the message is mostly gobbledygook so that’s not going to work at all.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
I don’t know how to clear the message without sending and I’m driving so I have to wait to work it out, at least until the next set of lights.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
After a little while I get bored so I put my audiobook back on. (I listen on the way to/from work. It’s my thing.)
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
I’m listening to Top Secret by @SarinaBowen & @ElleKennedy. It’s a queer (MM, bisexual) contemporary romance. It’s pretty hot.
I listen to a scene where the characters are sexting one another in a hook up app. They’re jerking off together over the app and telling each other about it in delicious, explicit detail.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
I think you can maybe see where this is going.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Anyway, I’m enjoying my audiobook and driving along. I get to another set of lights, so I look at my watch to see if I can work out how to clear this message which has even worse errors than the one that says “place” instead of “please”.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Let me tell you, my diction may have been unclear but Teddy Hamilton’s was not.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
I look at my watch and see that it had TRANSCRIBED *VERBATIM* THE HOT SEX SCENE AT THE FOOT OF THE TEXT MESSAGE – and I can’t emphasise this enough – **TO MY BOSS**.
Twitter. I panic.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
What happens if this goes to my boss?? How on earth could I explain this?
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Sexting your boss is a very career limiting move. Definitely against the corporate code.
This is VERY BAD.
The only option on my watch face is “send”.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Obviously this is the thing I do NOT want to do.
I cannot let this message just sit there. It’s burning a hole in my wrist. Recall my reaction to sending “place” instead of “please” and multiply that by a million. If it sits there it could spontaneously send or something. I could touch my wrist innocently and send this thing!
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
I have to get rid of it but I don’t know how!
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Another set of lights.
Okay. I’m going to pray and hit the back button on my watch and hope to dear-baby-Jesus-in-the-cradle that pressing the button is not an alternative way to send the text. 🙏
Deep breath.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Press.
An option comes up.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
“Discard this message?”
There’s an X and a ✅ on either side.
I press the X because that’s what I want to do: X this thing out. (Recall: panic.)
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Of course that’s wrong.. I want the ✅ to discard the message.
Oh God. Did I just and the message accidentally by pressing the X??
No.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Phew.
I hit the back button again and the discard question appears. This time I press the ✅.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Disaster averted!
And that is the story of how I nearly sexted my boss on the way to work, found out the dictation feature on the Galaxy watch & audiobooks in the car pair in weird ways, & learned that maybe a small error in a text message isn’t the worst thing and perfectionism can be dangerous.
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
/fin
— Kaetrin (@Kaetrin67) July 24, 2019
Kaetrin
Buy Top Secret by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy on Amazon
Read Caz’s AudioGals review of Top Secret by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy here.
Life in the digital age ain’t for the faint of heart! Lolol!!
You need to send this to Teddy Hamilton, who has far more than great diction.
I did tweet him but I’m not sure how often he checks his feed. :)
Please share with the class if you hear back?
will do!
Hahahahahahaha
And I’m currently listening to that as well, so can imagine your fear 😂😂
I have a mortifying story re audiobooks too. I was listening to a very steamy section of a book, also in the car, on loud speak, when my 23 yr old son got in. I start chatting to him and he was really quiet. Finally he said “ Er, Mum. Can you turn off the book. I don’t really want to listen to woman saying she enjoyed having her p*ssy slapped”.
😂😂😂
Oh LOL!
Really, you gotta wonder how narrators can read some of that dialogue with a straight face! But I’m *cough* very glad they do…
Funny, funny stuff!
This is hilarious!
Well, it’s funny NOW! :D
Is it audiobooks that are perilous or the ability to text while driving…?
Either way, it’s a hilarious story. I hope you were able to safely share with at least some of your colleagues!
Yes – I didn’t tell my boss – perhaps I’ll save that for the Christmas party. But I did tell a colleague yesterday. She was crying with laughter. My reputation at work is a bit straight up and down so anytime I colour outside the lines there’s general shock.