Kissed in Paris by Juliette Sobanet

Narrated by Tanya Eby

I cannot even tell you how angry the beginning of this book made me. I’d like to say Kissed in Paris got better but it didn’t really. The plot was quite reminiscent of the movie French Kiss (which was WAY better) and where it differed it was mostly in a bad way.

Staid, non-drinker, event planner, Chloe Turner goes to Paris a week before her wedding to her boyfriend of eight years. She’s a last minute stand-in for her sick boss. I gather the event went okay because there’s nothing in the book about it (and who knows why a non-French speaking American is arranging an event in Paris anyway). The day Chloe is due to fly home to Washington DC, she wakes up in her hotel room feeling ill and hung-over. She’s dressed only in her underwear and has vague memories of some French guy plying her with wine. But she doesn’t drink. She remembers ordering a sparkling water but the rest is pretty sketchy. There’s an indentation in the pillows next to her and her engagement ring, wallet, passport, suitcase etc are all gone. She’s been left with a short red dress, some stiletto heels, and the underwear she slept in.

Obviously, this guy, Claude, drugged her and stole from her and he also possibly raped her or at least very likely sexually assaulted her in some way.

What’s her reaction? GUILT for sleeping with some other guy. She feels bad about the things THEY DID. Lady, you didn’t do anything. Things were done to you. GRRRRRRR.

She does not immediately call her fiancé. She does not call the US Embassy. She does not call the police or the concierge or her bank to cancel her credit and debit cards. She does at least plan on going to the US Embassy but when she reaches the front desk of the hotel, two policemen are there with her photograph. They accuse her of fraud – they have pictures of her, glassy-eyed, drinking wine “Claude” and bank records (already!!) from her joint account with her fiancé which show dodgy transfers of thousands of dollars two days before.

The police are all set to escort her to the police station where, she is informed, she is in a lot of trouble (she definitely won’t be going home today). Then a scruffy but handsome (of course) man bursts in, knocks out the policeman (who is at that time waiting outside the Ladies Room for Chloe), flashes an official looking badge and tells her to “come with me”. He is an undercover “government agent”, named Julien. He knows where Claude is. If she goes with Julien, she will be able to retrieve her passport and catch the plane home later that day. If she stays and waits for the police, she will be arrested and investigated and her life will be in ruins. So, of course, rather than choosing door C (the US embassy for example), she goes with him.

It will come as no surprise that Claude is not where Julien thought he’d be and the pair follow his trail all over France for the next few days.

All this time, Chloe continues to believe she was at fault for drinking wine with Claude and does not tell her fiancé what is going on. She lies to him and tells him she has to stay in France for work. As it turns out, he is a complete douchebag – which begs the question of why she was with him in the first place, let alone for eight years.

Chloe also accepts the ridiculous lies Julien tells her such as – Claude is only interested in debit cards so there is no need to report her credit cards stolen. (I don’t think I need to specify all the things wrong with that suggestion.) Or there’s the one where apparently all the transportation in a particular town is on strike – trains, buses, and RENTAL CAR SERVICES. Because that happens.

The plot torturously twists to keep Chloe isolated from any help and completely reliant on Julien. I wavered between thinking she was Too Stupid To Live (she’s smart but acting really dumb here) and being outraged on her behalf about what was being done to her. I think it was supposed to be funny but I wasn’t laughing.

The last forty minutes or so of the story were much better (relatively) – if one can get past Julien’s lies and manipulations enough to want a HEA between them.

I usually enjoy Tanya Eby’s narration but she wasn’t enough to save this experience for me. In addition, I wasn’t super impressed by the French accent Ms. Eby used for Claude, Julien, and the other French nationals. Julien’s accent slipped into American from time to time and Claude sounded like a caricature. Even so, those portrayals were a million times better than the voices given to two Australian players in the story. I suppose US listeners won’t notice or mind but this Australian was cringing.

Fortunately, the Australians aren’t in the story much.

Truthfully, I was so annoyed by the characters and the plot, that it was difficult to enjoy any aspect of the audiobook. If one can get past all the issues with the setup and the way Chloe is taken advantage of all the way throughout the book, I suppose the narration is, apart from the accent issues, pretty good. But one has to get past a lot of things first. And really, it’s just not worth it.

To be fair to Ms. Eby, I don’t think any narrator could have save this book for me. Nevertheless, it has a Goodreads rating of 3.65 so I guess plenty of people think Kissed in Paris was good. Those who share that view will, I expect, enjoy the audiobook because overall, Ms. Eby’s performance was to a good standard and it is probably only Australians who would be truly bothered by the bad Aussie accents.

But basically, I wanted to set it on fire.

Kaetrin

Narration:  B-

Book Content:  D

Steam Factor:  You can play it out loud

Violence:  Depends if you think Chloe was sexually assaulted or not. (It’s off page in any event) If no, then, fighting.

Genre:  Contemporary Romance

Publisher:  Brilliance Audio

Kissed in Paris was provided to AudioGals for review by Brilliance Audio.